Wednesday, 18 February 2009

Weird Death Notice in Local Paper...

Below is an extract from the Irish News for today 18th February.... bit spooky, considering my name is Maureen Breen and my husband is John Breen.....

BREEN John, February 17 2009 peacefully at Belfast City Hospital. Beloved father of John and Bobby, formerly of Scotch Street and latterly of 589 Antrim Road, Belfast. Remains will be removed from his late residence Thursday 19 at 11.30am for 12 noon Requiem Mass at St. Therese of Lisieux, Somerton Road, Belfast. Burial afterwards in Milltown Cemetery. Deeply regretted by his sons, daughters-in-law, grand-children, great grandchildren and entire family circle. Family flowers only, donations in lieu to Action Cancer.

BREEN (Craigavon) (nee Magee) February 17 2009 peacefully, Maureen beloved wife of the late Michael (Mickey) 309 Drumbeg North, and much loved mother of Lisa, Edward, Martina, Stephen, Paul, Linda, Francis and Thomas and the late Michael and Linda R.I.P. Funeral on Friday at 10.15am from her late residence to St. Anthony’s Church for 11.00am Requiem Mass. Interment afterwards in St. John’s Cemetery, Lylo. Our Lady of Lourdes pray for her. Very deeply regretted by her loving daughters, sons, sons-in-law, daughters-in-law, grandchildren and the entire family circle.

Sunday, 8 February 2009

Real story by a Man who was standing in a queue in Tesco's......

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow.........why else would I buy dog food??